Networking
Now that we’ve covered how collecting challenges is important, let’s move on to applying this to the intricacies of networking.
Networking is a skill. For some it’s innate and natural; for others it’s learned. But to be sure, everyone can improve and everyone can be good at networking.
JEREMY: People are not typically taught to network. There is no class in high school, college, or any graduate program about networking. Never feel bad for not knowing how to network. While there are plenty of resources about networking and the big picture, there are few that cover the details on how to network.
CHRIS: As with all worthwhile tasks, networking is a skill that becomes easier the more it is practiced. Many people will state that networking is mentally taxing for them and it is important to remember that even the best networkers might have tough moments where they have to push through.
Mostly, we learn by example.
ERIC: I was an only child so grew up a little shy. But my parents taught me a lot about how to engage people. My mom is one of the friendlier people you’ll ever meet. My dad set several good examples - such as addressing people by their name and asking them how they’re doing, and remembering small details about people regardless of who the person was or what that person did for a living. He also constantly challenged me to say hi to people or he’d simply make the intro (now my friends see where I get that trait!).
JEREMY: I learned how to be a better networker by going to policy school. I admit, I was really unaware of how I presented ideas and interacted with others. In a really stereotypical way, I was just a scientist in training with average social skills compared to my public policy classmates. This included things as basic as dressing more appropriately for meetings, thinking about the style and format of my communications with others, and controlling (or trying to as I talk a lot!) the amount of speaking I do.
Why are we writing about networking?
ERIC: Several of my friends have asked for tips on how to be a better networker after seeing how I do it and how much I enjoy it.
ALL: To be fair, it’s a major part of our job at Venture Catalyst. We are constantly meeting clients, founders, investors, prospective customers, vendors, friends, and more. Our main job is to connect people. We try to understand what people need or could use, and help them achieve that.
ALL: We will provide various tips, additional reading (there are many networking experts out there, many of whom are worth reading - see the list at the end), exercises and applications of our learning - many of which can be applied immediately.
Principles & Goals of Networking
ALL: Our goal is to help people succeed. We get to know them and their professional and personal goals to learn about people as individuals.
ERIC: A principle behind networking is to not be a jerk. Some people who seemingly have big networks don’t necessarily have good, strong networks. Often times, that happens when you’ve spread yourself way too thin or perhaps networked merely for the sake of helping yourself. As Gary Vaynerchuk said, it’s necessary to give (several times) before you should ask (Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook - 2013).
JEREMY: A related principle is that you have to really care; if you don't people will see through you and your tactics. Generally, people want to legitimately improve themselves and help others. In the sharing or collaborative economy, relationships are vitally important.
CHRIS: Networking is not only an opportunity to learn about the other person, it should also be a time where you build your brand and make the case why others should care about your industry. For example, I often use networking opportunities not to actively seek out new clients, but to educate the person (and his/her industry) about information protection, and cyber and information security. Too often companies only think about information risk management after a breach has occurred, but I’d like them to leave our interaction understanding that appropriate information protection and a strong security strategy is a competitive advantage.
SUSIE: It’s important to know yourself and your personality in order to be a successful networker. If you are more of an introvert, figure out some tricks to help make you comfortable, such as having another person with you to network as a “team.” As you become more at ease, move away from each other and meet people individually. Should you find yourself in an awkward moment, find your partner who will introduce you to the person your partner was talking to. And then repeat. Or if you are known to be a talker, remind yourself that you should be asking questions and listening, or have a plate of snacks to eat to encourage yourself to listen more.
ALL: One of the many networking resources available, Patricia (Pat) Hedley’s Meet 100 People: A How-to Guide to the Career and Life Edge Everyone's Missing (2017) is particularly great. She discusses serendipity and how surprise and good fortune smiles upon those who are not afraid to put themselves out there, outreach, and spot and act on opportunity. These are key principles to successful networking.
And importantly, don’t forget to collect challenges, which is a key component of networking. You can read more about this specifically in the previous post.
In-Person Networking
This post will focus on networking in person- the next post will examine networking via email or social media. There are a lot of general tips about in-person networking, such as smile, be enthusiastic, know current events, etc., so we focused on tips that are not normally discussed.
1. How to Decide Whether to Attend a Networking Event
If your time is limited, generally speaking, an invitation to a networking event from someone you know is probably a yes, you should attend, while a generic invite to a networking event might be more of a no. The exception to the generic networking invite is if it is an event that is specific to your industry or an industry you are interested in.
Once you rsvp yes, then you should always go. Don’t rsvp to everything and not show. It looks bad, especially if the event has pre-made name tags because it is obvious that you didn’t show up. In addition, the more networking events you attend, the more likely you will be invited to more, which can lead to new opportunities.
2. Prepare for the Networking Event and Make 2-3 Goals
As others will say, try to find out who might be at the event in advance so you can create a list of people to meet. In addition, make 2-3 goals specific to your networking skills. For example, a goal could be practice moving about the room. Or a goal could be inserting yourself into an ongoing conversation at least two times during the event. By having concrete targets to evaluate, you can learn from the networking event and improve your skills. You will learn what are your strengths and weaknesses are.
3. Attire and Don’t Forget about Your Shoes
People generally remember to dress appropriately, but here is a special reminder about your shoes. Remember in Silence of the Lambs when Hannibal Lecter told Clarice Starling she had a good bag and cheap shoes? Choose shoes that convey the look you want to present. If you are wearing dress shoes, make sure they are polished. Sneakers and other shoes are fine, as long as it fits who you are and the context. Taking that extra step with your shoes conveys confidence and completes the image of who you are.
4. Location in the Room
Be strategic on where you will be located in the room. Near the bar/refreshment area is always a safe place because almost everyone will at some point gravitate to that area. Starting at the periphery of the room may be good if you are hoping to locate a specific person.
Food station- while food may be available, try not to indulge while networking. It is often distracting and awkward and makes you less mobile. If you must eat, do it at the very beginning as quickly as possible or at the end. People are often not as engaged while eating because they are too busy, well, eating. But use other people eating to your advantage if it is appropriate. For example, approaching a group of people juggling food and drink could leave a vacuum in the conversation (because they are busy eating), where you can talk and others listen.
5. Make an Effort to Talk to Older People and People who are not Homogeneous with your Social Circle
In addition to the person(s) you are explicitly interested in meeting, make an effort to talk to older people and people who are not homogeneous to your social circle. Perhaps unconsciously, people generally meet people who are similar to them in age and race/ethnicity. Make an effort to meet people outside of your typical circle. Expanding your network beyond your norm makes your network stronger and more valuable. For example, older people are generally in senior positions in their careers. have established networks, and have great insight. Similarly, including people from different races/ethnicities provides more depth and diversity to your network, especially important for referrals and hiring as companies push for diversity and inclusion.
6. Hold Your Drink in Your Left Hand (and your Purse on your Left Arm)
Frees up your right hand for handshakes without that awkward moment where the other person is waiting for you to transfer your drink (or purse) for the handshake. It also ensures your right hand isn’t cold or wet from the glass.
7. Eye Contact (Don’t Constantly Scan the Room)
We all know about the importance of eye contact. But can you have a conversation while maintaining good eye contact without constantly scanning the room? Stay focused on the person you are talking to. It will make the person feel like the most important person in the room, which is what you should always convey, regardless of the person’s title or occupation. If you must know who else is in the room, learn to use your peripheral vision, without losing focus on the person in front of you.
8. Pay Attention and Use the Person’s Name
Use the person’s name immediately to help you remember the name and signal to the person that you were paying attention. It is also a nice touch to end the conversation by again saying the person’s name. Doing so will often make you stand out.
9. Ask for a Challenge
As we discussed in the previous post, ask the person you meet for a challenge. Simply asking for a challenge makes you memorable because most people are only thinking about how they can benefit and not about how they can help the other person. For example, think how you can connect them to a friend in the same industry.
10. End of the Conversation- Handshake, Dap (Intricate Handshake) or Hug?
Some people like to close the conversation with a handshake or dap, others a hug. Hugs are less formal and more intimate and may convey a stronger connection with the person. While handshakes are the standard and can be impersonal, daps suggest a more friendly relationship, but could be interpreted as maintaining a “bro” culture, which could be problematic. The choice is a personal decision and depends on your own comfort level and context. However, in the context of the #MeToo movement, it may be practical to close with a simple handshake to avoid any impression of impropriety or male exclusiveness.
11. Have a Pen (or Use your Phone) and Take Notes
When appropriate, take some notes about the exchange, ideally on the back of the person’s business card (hence, the need to have a pen) or if you prefer, using your phone, e.g., email yourself some notes. Write down the person’s challenge and other personal details of the interaction. Ideally, it will be something that the person will be able to instantly recall about the conversation and you (which you will use as part of your follow-up).
12. Afterparty
If there is an afterparty after the event, try to go. These events should not be seen as a networking opportunity per se, but rather a chance to get to know the people you have already met in a more meaningful way. These settings generally allow people to spend more time with each other, and have more complex conversations and interactions. Or not. Maybe it is just an opportunity to dance or see a show. But simply being there already indicates your willingness to be part of the group (i.e., team) and have some shared interests. Plus, memories of the afterparty might be a stronger example to use as part of your follow-up.
13. Uhhh, this isn’t going so well...
There will be times where a connection with the other person does not occur. You might be in a conversation with someone who clearly has no interest in speaking with you or has a lukewarm response. Despite your numerous attempts at making a personal or professional connection with this person, nothing works. That’s ok, it happens to everyone. Don’t take it personally and have the stamina and perseverance to maintain your confidence and positive attitude.
So how do you handle a “rejection” or a less than enthusiastic response? Similar to the art of inserting yourself into a conversation, there is also an art to extracting yourself from a conversation. Do not use another person as a reason to leave, this conveys that the other person is more important than the person you are speaking with. Instead, say “thank you, it was nice meeting you” and use an inconsequential reason to depart, such as need to refresh your drink or grab a bite to eat. The reason you give should not be memorable.
If you are attending the event with a friend or co-worker, this would be a good time to find your friend and meet the person your friend is chatting with.
Conclusion to In-Person Networking
These practical tips can be applied immediately. It will help you become a more confident and, more importantly, a better connector. Keep the concept of serendipity in mind when you are networking because you never know what opportunity may come from your connection with a person. The key is to establish a connection and obtain a challenge. The next post will discuss tips for follow-up.
Additional Resources for Networking
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant (2013)
Meet 100 People: A How-to Guide to the Career and Life Edge Everyone's Missing by Pat Hedley (2017)
Never Eat Alone and Other Secrets to Success One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz (2014)
Show Up: Unlocking the Power of Relational Networking by David France (2017)
Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships that Matter by Scott Gerber and Ryan Paugh (2018)